When I sit alone in my room, in lrt or anywhere....I always think that as a human being I have tons of flaws. Some is acceptable but some just a bit too much. I admit we human being have a lot of flaws that maybe with determination we could overcome it make something useful out of it. Nowadays, the favourite topic always about me and my soul mate. Oh well, I understand their concern and I do respect that so that's why everytime the same topic comes out I will just participate and listen with open heart. Maybe it is a big deal for some that I have not find someone yet but for me, believe me...I think it's just not the time yet.
The talk I have earlier with one of my friends makes me realize it is not because of how big I am or even how I look like it's just not the time yet. When god says, today is the day then on that day I'm gonna meet someone that I will spend my whole life with. (even thinking of that scares me) I never think I would stay with the one and only person for the rest of my life but well, who knows?
For me, you need to be ready mentally, physically and importantly financially to get married. It is not a joke or temporary stops. Marriage is forever. You know you are ready when you realize that you can't live without that person and you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with him. No doubt, no hesitation, it all feel just right. He is right, everything about him is right and make perfect sense. It is when you think he is perfect despite his imperfection. Accepting him the way he is despite all his flaws vice versa. When that comes, that is when I know I am ready.
I know age is catching up and I know that I might end up alone but then I always think I am not really alone when I have my siblings, my nephew, my niece...well my family and also my friends with me. I might grow old alone and I might not but lets keep praying that time that all been waiting for will eventually come. If it don't, then it don't. If it does, I know I have everyone blessing.
Maybe love will come knocking when we stop looking. Who knows? :)
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