Have you been in a relationship that is oh so sweet and dreamy? Have you? You feel like you were floating up in the air because how he made you feel. I'm sure you have. That feeling. It's been more than 10 years somebody able to make me feel that way. Then he came along, swept me off my feet. He don't do much. He just do one thing. He showed me he cared. Well with lots of sense of humor of course. He was not that good looking but he's not that ugly too. He have this sweet face that when you look, you feel... happy. I was so happy, content and alive.
I made one mistake. A huge one. I gave my heart to him. I let my guard down and gave my heart to him when I know i shouldn't have. So i discovered one lies, heartbreaking shattering lie. He's married. Yes, he is. He is married. I felt...betrayed. Heartbroken, i fall into pieces. I tried not to be alone most of the time. I tried to keep my mind occupied but he's there and he still is.
I notice the changes. We don't talk anymore, he give excuses that he was busy with work. I am working but no one is so busy that they don't have time at all. He was not busy but he just don't have the time for me. We don't communicate. There's no more phone call no more good night messages. All the things he used to do. There's none. If you were in my place wouldn't you want to know? I digged and digged. I know the truth is right in front of me. I am obviously never his priorities. I am just a sidechick. The one that he put on the side and play with whenever he wants to, I keep asking myself why am I being so stupid that I don't see this coming? Why do I have to give my heart to someone that doesn't deserve me? I wish one day he read this and realized how he broke me. How he make me suffer. And I hope he know how to actually appreciate someone that is always there for him.
I am writing this because I want to remember if ever one day i find someone let this be a lesson. If I don't let this be a reminder to someone else. Keep your guard up all the time. Do not give your heart to anyone. Keep it safely with you. Give a piece but not all. If it broke, it will not hurt this bad. I am hurt. I still am. But I know eventually this would go away. The scars will always there but at least it won't be as painful.
