Single...what's the big deal?

Well, let's see. I have been single for almost 7 years now. Totally unattached to anyone. I have never been single so long i have forgotten how is to be with myself after my last broke up. I admit, first few months it get lonely and sometimes i do miss my X. Sometimes i wanted to reply him and tell him i will accept him eventually but i know we will be better separated.

I'm getting used to it now. Well I do admit every now and then i do feel, i want to have someone but then again need and want are not the same things. i may want that things but i dont think i need it now. I may want it cause i saw everyone having their partner. But do i want to live my life as miserable as before?

At this age, as older as I'm getting now (yes, older) I had enough of this headache or heartache. I am happy. I am content. I dont need anyone to tell me what i can or can't do. I hate being control by emotions tho' i know being a pisces. I am emotional. But being with someone the emotional stress is different. I dont like to worried bout things that may or may not happen.

I do have feelings, and yes I have crushes now and then but it's just crush. Temporary infatuation or temporary feeling thatI dont think it will lead to anything or anywhere. I do have guy friends that is close or not so close. Married or not married. I dont know how but we have built beautiful platonic relationship that does not base on feelings. I like guys dont get me wrong but I dont think i am currently looking for one right now.

I do admint, it get lonely sometimes but i'm used to it and now i know how to occupy myself. Well, i believe there is someone for everyone. How soon or how near if it will be it will be but at this point of time in my life I feel bless and I am not currently looking for someone to fill the spot in my heart. It's still vacant but it is filled with love for everyone near and close.

Just one day, maybe one day it will happen but if it won't, what's the freaking big deal?

11 days after

New Year came. On the dot. Exactly at 12am. The date change, we shouted our Happy New Year wishes, we kissed, we hugged, we drunk, we pray, we cried. That's it. Done.

Instead of having a party, i chose to find peace at the beach. There's no noise everywhere, people are calm. Some of them stays in their own little tent. And me, I lied down on a 'pangkin' in front of the ocean under tree. Most importantly, I celebrate my new year with my best friend, Wawa. Believe me, it's been so many years ago since our last vacation.

I knew this new year, my age will be one year more. Last year have stole a year from me. I hope i becoming wiser. I hope those useless people that come into my life will be gone and never come back. I hope I could make wiser decision and most importantly finish what I have started.

It has been 11 days that I have step into 2012 and from the look of it, everything seems fall to places. Well, not actually everything but I hope it will. I maybe the same me but I would like to change it to be better me.

I may have the same friends and I may have make some new ones. I am blessed. I am truely thankful for all the wonderful people around me. And i hope this would not change even new year come and go.

I foresee the better year ahead... and i hope it will be!