30 going to 31

Well, yes it is actually depressing to even remember I am actually 30 years old last year. That was last year! and this year the age will be 1 year more. How depressing is that? less then 10 years, I'm gonna be freaking 40 uolls! They keep telling age is just a number. Yes, to whoever said that but not to me... age is not just a number. Age means is how wise you will be in making choices, decisions or any of that sort. The more you age, the wiser you must be. Am I? 


Honestly, i could not answer that. I think I did make some bad choices, wrong decisions and yes some right ones. But I learn from it. I'm still the same me guess older me. I still could not believe it will be less than a week I will be leaving this age and I will be entering new age, new phase of my life. 


30 have been giving me so much i could not bring everything with me. Some will be left as memories, some will be with me. I want to leave this age as wise as i could be, tho' i know i sometimes could be annoying spoiled brat but i wish i will change for the better and i could face every obstacle calmer and with positive thought! 

17th Feb, tho it is still 11 days away... Thanks friends for being there for me. For taking your time off and celebrating the day with me and Intan. We could never thank you enough. We might not be as closest, we might fight from time to time, we might disagree, we might shout at each other but I know we will have each other back when in need. Thanks girls! Thanks for all the gift, the cakes and the gossips! 


Thanks for the love, the friendship and more importantly thanks for being there after all this years. 15 years and still counting... may we last forever and grew old together. Love you, girls! 

Heavenly getaway...The Dusun

Well it feel like forever that I have not been out from KL. Well, I lied... I have been out of KL every month just that been forever that i don't travel. Well, I lied again. I just came back from Medan on December. It actually just 2 months and yes, I missed holiday. I missed travel. Tho' it's just a short trip. 


Well, we have been planning for months. not actually months. But the place that we want was fully booked therefore we have to go to plan B. Find alternatives! After a lot of ideas, rejected ideas, accepted but later rejected. Believe me, there is a lot! Sha found out about this heaven. 


Located more or less one hour drive from KL, The Dusun located in Pantai area (well, they don't have beach here. The place name is Pantai) It is befor e Jelebu, Negeri Sembilan (sorry if I'm wrong i'm bad with direction). The place is called the Dusun as it is an orchard surrounded with hills and mountain. The view is breathtaking and heavenly. I have never seen so many stars at night and you could seat outside the balcony and mesmerize by it. 


We went for a night but it the place have provide all the peace and serenity that I need. I need to getaway and yes, i did eventho' for a night. With a place like The Dusun you could just forget and leave all your problem at the main gate. The road to this place is not tremendously as fascinating as the view but we could not complaint more. In fact, there is nothing to complaint about. The owner and her daughter are very welcoming and warm, we felt like a family. For durian lovers, this place is surrounded by durian trees you could smell it from far. Well, if you could find any durian here it's yours! I did! We found one but I'm not avid durian lover and the durian have fell more than 2 days but the point is we find one durian! yeay! 


We stayed in newly built Sora house which could accomodate 5 pax. (Mind you, they don't allowed extra guest as they don't want people to sleep on the floor) The house is modern house with spacious kitchen, bathroom, balcony and yes, everything! 


There is waterfall, I mean teeny mini waterfall 20 minutes walks from this place (if you are lost, like us it will take more than that ;p) It's been more than a year or maybe 2, I did not swim in the river. But this river, i could not resist. It's so cold, you need to try it after-all half of my body is already in. We did not took a lot of pictures. But this is all that been filtered and for public ahah! Oh, i forgot to tell you, our journey to the waterfall been accompanied by FOC tour guide, the owner dog. I am scared of dogs and still am but this dog is really good at what it's doing (the dog is on the top picture). I have my guardian angel, so i know I'll be safe.... :D and yes, he's not superman ;p 


In short, I have fall in love at first sight with this place and i will definitely come back. Try to go there at least once and believe me you will also fall for it same as I did. 

The path lead to pool

Kitchen and dining

Dining area. Look at the view from here...

Breakfasting!

Mini waterfall. Ain't it?

Breathtakingly beautiful

The durian flower, i think? 

* Picture credit to, Mr. Photog Balan! Thanksie... Do visit his flickr site for more photos uolls!

I am that stupid...

For the past months, I have been feeling something strange. Tho' i keep telling myself it will go away but yet the feeling is still there. It keeps growing and I don't think i am able to handle it. Blame me. Its been more than 8 years I have not been feeling like this. I have never been so helpless, so weak. I hate this. Yes, I think I am falling in love with someone.  


However, hard the fall maybe that person have no idea that I am falling for him. Duh! Yes, I know...It's stupid and it might hurt. But well, who could stop love? I've tried and i failed. I have been trying, believe me...It is not a wise idea to fall head over heel to someone that doesn't know your existence. It is wrong. Totally wrong. 


Who knows? He might have someone right now. Someone he deeply in love too. Love is blind and I am blind. I don't know how I fall but it happened and I could not think for a reason for me to fall for him. We are not in the same circle, heck, we are not even in the same office. This is strange. But who need a reason to love? I know i might not succeed. I know it is impossible to reach for the stars. I know he might never know me and maybe will never do. But hey, that is taking chances! (and being stupid, I guess) 


Well,  the point is I have never have this feeling for 8 years and now i have fallen for someone who don't know my existence. How irony is that? I might need to get my brain check. I'm heartbroken without he even know it. Yes, I am that stupid....

Single...what's the big deal?

Well, let's see. I have been single for almost 7 years now. Totally unattached to anyone. I have never been single so long i have forgotten how is to be with myself after my last broke up. I admit, first few months it get lonely and sometimes i do miss my X. Sometimes i wanted to reply him and tell him i will accept him eventually but i know we will be better separated.

I'm getting used to it now. Well I do admit every now and then i do feel, i want to have someone but then again need and want are not the same things. i may want that things but i dont think i need it now. I may want it cause i saw everyone having their partner. But do i want to live my life as miserable as before?

At this age, as older as I'm getting now (yes, older) I had enough of this headache or heartache. I am happy. I am content. I dont need anyone to tell me what i can or can't do. I hate being control by emotions tho' i know being a pisces. I am emotional. But being with someone the emotional stress is different. I dont like to worried bout things that may or may not happen.

I do have feelings, and yes I have crushes now and then but it's just crush. Temporary infatuation or temporary feeling thatI dont think it will lead to anything or anywhere. I do have guy friends that is close or not so close. Married or not married. I dont know how but we have built beautiful platonic relationship that does not base on feelings. I like guys dont get me wrong but I dont think i am currently looking for one right now.

I do admint, it get lonely sometimes but i'm used to it and now i know how to occupy myself. Well, i believe there is someone for everyone. How soon or how near if it will be it will be but at this point of time in my life I feel bless and I am not currently looking for someone to fill the spot in my heart. It's still vacant but it is filled with love for everyone near and close.

Just one day, maybe one day it will happen but if it won't, what's the freaking big deal?

11 days after

New Year came. On the dot. Exactly at 12am. The date change, we shouted our Happy New Year wishes, we kissed, we hugged, we drunk, we pray, we cried. That's it. Done.

Instead of having a party, i chose to find peace at the beach. There's no noise everywhere, people are calm. Some of them stays in their own little tent. And me, I lied down on a 'pangkin' in front of the ocean under tree. Most importantly, I celebrate my new year with my best friend, Wawa. Believe me, it's been so many years ago since our last vacation.

I knew this new year, my age will be one year more. Last year have stole a year from me. I hope i becoming wiser. I hope those useless people that come into my life will be gone and never come back. I hope I could make wiser decision and most importantly finish what I have started.

It has been 11 days that I have step into 2012 and from the look of it, everything seems fall to places. Well, not actually everything but I hope it will. I maybe the same me but I would like to change it to be better me.

I may have the same friends and I may have make some new ones. I am blessed. I am truely thankful for all the wonderful people around me. And i hope this would not change even new year come and go.

I foresee the better year ahead... and i hope it will be!