Rambling Mumbling

Today is first day at work after new year...Yes, still same old place, same old chair, same old desk well everything still old except it's a brand new year. This year, I got to do different territory. Different countries and time to say good bye to Indo-China shipment since I am now moving to India, Korea and Taiwan. In case anyone wondering what did I do... I am handling export documentation for one of the biggest paper manufacturer in the world. I did not mentioned the biggest but it is one of the biggest. Truth is, I am not sure if we are the biggest some say yes. Well whatever...

I have been handling Indo-China market for almost 3 years and I am excited on my new territory but I feel I'm so attached to my previous territory I have problem letting it go. Oh yes, I have major problem of letting anything go not only this but most of the things in my life. I guess I like the feeling of being attached to something. I feel like whenever I let go of something there is always that small dent in my heart or maybe a tiny weeny hole. It is tiny but it also feels empty. I'm being dramatic over this and it just so me.

Some said don't be attached to something cause when you lost it then you wont be hurt to bad.I guess that was true but who can control their feeling. Well one thing I know when you like something, it means you like something and when you don't then you don't. Who can stop their heart? I know I can't and maybe only selfish people can do that. just because they are selfish? I'm writing about my new territory and I am so failed in focusing I deviate my topic to something else.

I am actually done talking about work but one thing for sure I am still excited about this new territory things. I'm sure this is what I need after 3 years doing the same thing. I need something new, man! I am freaking bored out of my skull of doing the same thing. well don't get me wrong I love doing that territory but I need something new. I like new things. I always buy new things that is how I love new things and I know I'm gonna love this new territory I have. So new year, new territory, new country to explore and I know I'm gonna be a new person afterward. Well, hopefully.... till now I still have good feeling about this year. 

Oh, and I am so in love head over heels with this songs... love love love

Cambodia oh Cambodia -Choeung Ek Genocide Museum aka The Killing Field

Well let me start the first day of 2013 with my very post that I have put on hold for so damn long. I know I am suppose to write about it a long time ago but at least I'm doing it now kan? I am keeping my promises tho' well... never mind no excuses this time.

The 1st day...

Our 1st stop should be the Toul sleng or S21 prison however due to the some VIP visit on the same day the road to the museum was close for first half of the day therefore our tour guide decided that we visit Choeung Ek Killing Field first.

The entrance

This is a mass grave that place thousands of Cambodians that have been Pol Pot regime victims. This is where they have been buried alive after they have been torture in S-21 prison. Everyday there'll be truck load of victims being sent here to be killed. The whole tour was very heart wrenching and devastating. To see how a man trying to play god and take people lives in their hand. It is definitely an eye opener and it makes me realize my home country is not that bad at all.

Brief detail about this place

This is him... Pol Pot

I wish I dont see all the devastating sites, all the pictures, the place, the bones and even look at the mass grave. But this is what I'm here for and I tell myself I just need to endure and I am thankful I did what I did.

Our first stop is the museum and short movie about this place. What happen, how they did it and all the   torture the victims went through.

Pol pot believe everyone need to be equal hence the same uniform, hair cut etc. 

The skulls extracted from the grave with different method of killing

Some of the belongings recovered from the mass grave.Notice that little girl cloth in pink. 

Some of the victims pictures

Yes, the victims have been tortured in toul Selg prison @ S21 prison. They been brought here and tortured one more time before being buried alive and helpless.

Let's see where and what...no need my explanation. All the details is shown in the picture.

We walked through the entire place and there is still bone fragments on the ground. They unable to clear the debris as it is too much and it is impossible therefore all the bones, teeth or even victim cloth still visible on the ground.

Looking at the mass grave is totally heart wrenching. you can't help imagining the image of the victims waiting to be killed. It is more devastating when we arrived at the mass grave where they found woman and children naked. I keep thinking is it even possible for human being to act this cruel to another human being? well, I know it's possible now.

We end our journey visit the stupa which being build in memory to all those victims  Here is where they kept all the skulls the found in the mass grave. The skulls being place according to the age category and being place in few floors (i forgot how many floors were there)

Outside there's a small stall selling fresh coconut juice to quench our thirst after half day depressing tour.

Those young fresh coconut...

That's the end of our 1st visit of the day that lasted about half a day. When they said it's gonna be depressing, they are not lying. I am depressed and it is not even a day.

Goodbye 2012...please come in 2013

I have not been blogging for quite sometime, this few years I have been so lazy though I could say this year is better I mean about blogging than last year. I thought I did wrote about new year but well last I wrote about it is in 2008. Well 4 years ago! There's a lot of things going on absolutely since then.

2012... 
Let's see what did I accomplish, I nearly made it to dean list. Nearly though tough luck. I should focus more. That's the hardest thing to do since I am not able to focus longer. Well that's me. I always always think about a lot of thing. Some friends said I over think things. I manage to lose 15 kgs of my weight you all! Yes, 15kgs. I may not look as small as I actually want to be so losing another pound will be my priority in 2103. Err..beside the license. I still have not taken any driving license. Yes...yes I know I must. That'll be 2013. This I promise. This year I make sure I get that license and post it here, there, everywhere in the internet. wow, that's the spirit! I hope it didn't die down half way. :p 

I can say there's a lot of bittersweet memories. I am thankful for all the friends and families that stood by me in all this years. I am thankful for such friend that I have. I have learnt that we could not trust anyone and everyone. I realize that some people just be your friend for their own benefit and there are others that just be your friends because that just they want to be without hidden agenda. I may not that harsh to ditch those useless friends halfway. But I just hope they realize what they did wrong. Thank you for all those that been sincere, that have been there for me whenever I need them, that have love me as friend should be. I have lots of love to give and I am sure I have lots of love for them. 

Love life? I don't have any unfortunately or is it fortunately? I know I should look at the other side of the field, I know I should open my heart (that's what they said) but being hopelessly romantic ( I am!) I want to be swept away from my feet with that one guy that is the ONE. That prince charming in fairytale. I believe one day it would come knocking on my door and if he lost his way or I move house...then I'm still bless with everyone I have around me. Look everything in life positively I believe. 

2013...
You come slowly but surely. i have lots of faith and hope in you. I am sure as hell 2013 would be better year. How I know? Because I believe every year should be better than the previous year. That's how I know 2013 would be better. There's a lot of things to be accomplish, a lot of plan line up. 

My number one priority would be well losing a lot lot lot of pounds before July. I'm hoping I could make it. I'm hoping I have the strength to do it. Cutback those devil foods and enjoy eating healthy even that means I have to eat like goat for the rest of the year. (some people said eating salad like goat lol) This I need to do....no I MUST do. Then there is that driving license I'm putting on hold for so long.... That'll be this year. Finally, that's also the dean list I've been eyeing. I need to be in that list. I want it so bad it hurts. 

I know I might not accomplish everything but at least I know where I'm heading. That's what matters. I hope this year bring as much luck in career and love department (if any) my mom would be happy to know I'm thinking about love. haha! 

Thanks thanks thanks to everyone that is in my life throughout 2012 and I hope you will be in it for many years to come. Thanks guys! you're the best. There's nothing more  that I could asked for I am just bless having all of you around. 

Let us welcome 2013 with open arms, with a lot of faith and hope. Hope that 2013 be a better year for us all and have faith that everything will fall to places this year. One more year gain, I do hope we become wiser and I do hope that our relationship become stronger and we live our life full of love. 

2012, it might not be  a good year for some but it definitely leave some meaning here and there. It might leave us with some good and bad memories but aren't they all? Just be bless with this year and look ahead for the coming new year. I know I am... 

Thanks 2012 and goodbye... I heard 2013 knocking at my door now. Do come in 2013... I am READY

Lots of love and Happy New Year, friend wherever you might be celebrating. 

Cambodia oh Cambodia

Cambodia...Kingdom of Wonder. 

I have been longing to go to this country ever since I heard and read about Pol Pot regime. I read about it and understand how inhumane it is. Therefore when opportunity knocks, when they asking me to arrange for out group holiday, I have chose Cambodia though most of them wanted to go to Phuket. Since Phuket flight is not as cheap as what we budgeted, I quietly booked flight to Phnom Penh and tell them afterwards. They forced to agree and I got what I wanted. Teehehe! We booked the flight since April for our 3rd November vacation.  Initially there should be 8 of us but it come down to only 5. 

My 75 litre bag-pack all set and ready to go

LCCT while having breakfast

Our flight schedule at 7.05 am. So we only have a little bit of sleep that night before taking taxi to LCCT.

Finally...

Filling up the form for immigration

Bird eye view

The flight was okay tho' the passenger well some of them a bit weird but what do you expect. There will always be weird people around so we don't bother. As long as we reached the place on time and safely.

We reached Phnom Penh airport after 1 hour 45 mins journey and immigration in Cambodia, I could say faster than the immigration in Indonesia and better too.

See that happy faces...

There! We're finally here

That happy faces...again

Outside the airport

With our tour guide....Ustaz Salleh is really good and could speak malay too! 

Off we go to the hotel and on the way I snap some pictures of building and monuments. Well, I'm the tourist so I'm acting like one. LOL!

Government offices

Government office again

Royal Palace

We check in to our hotel at River Star Hotel near riverside so the view is simply amazing. The hotel for a twin sharing room is really spacious although overall its an old hotel but the stay there was okay not scary. I forgot to snap the room pictures or even the hotel pictures. Guess I was so occupied snapping other picture. Hehe!

There are a lot of hotel in that area because this place is a tourist spot so night life here is better than other place in Phnom Penh. Well, most of the shop in Phnom Penh close at 9 so it is quiet town by 9. But luckily, not at this area. There are a lot of bars and spa centre that open till late. For traveller that love night life or some noise, you should stay around this area. 

Well, since we have morning flight so after check in we go to find some breakfast...again! The halal restaurant is just around the corner from our hotel. The teh tarik here and coffee are seriously gooooddd! So nice!!

Since I don't have the hotel pic. This is massage shop next to our hotel. That will do...:p

Halal restaurant near the hotel and yes, they could speak malay too

The menu...yes they are in Malay too... well mix with with English

This is the bread pate ..ham slices with french bread. Maybe just not my type of sandwich. It will be better without that chilli sauce and cucumber. 

 After brunch, we continue our tour. Yes, this is the tour that I wanted to go so much and I have read so much about it. The journey was okay. Well you can't expect so much on the road condition here but we have no complaint. Since there are VIPs coming to the first place that we suppose to go so we went to the second place instead.

I shall continue the tour details in my next post hopefully tonight so it could be published tomorrow. Hopefully... Should keep to my promise. Well I'll try...:D

All in all...Cambodia is really a kingdom of wonders and we have a blast while we are there. Oh, in case you want to know about our tour guide. do visit his facebook page Salleh Lee. I will do the review, I promise but believe me he's excellent and the fees we pay is all worth it.

Stay tune for my next chapter... huhu

It will be here one day....

When I sit alone in my room, in lrt or anywhere....I always think that as a human being I have tons of flaws. Some is acceptable but some just a bit too much. I admit we human being have a lot of flaws that maybe with determination we could overcome it make something useful out of it. Nowadays, the favourite topic always about me and my soul mate. Oh well, I understand their concern and I do respect that so that's why everytime the same topic comes out I will just participate and listen with open heart. Maybe it is a big deal for some that I have not find someone yet but for me, believe me...I think it's just not the time yet.

The talk I have earlier with one of my friends makes me  realize it is not because of how big I am or even how I look like it's just not the time yet. When god says, today is the day then on that day I'm gonna meet someone that I will spend my whole life with. (even thinking of that scares me) I never think I would stay with the one and only person for the rest of my life but well, who knows?

For me, you need to be ready mentally, physically and importantly financially to get married. It is not a joke or temporary stops. Marriage is forever. You know you are ready when you realize that you can't live without that person and you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with him. No doubt, no hesitation, it all feel just right. He is right, everything about him is right and make perfect sense. It is when you think he is perfect despite his imperfection. Accepting him the way he is despite all his flaws vice versa. When that comes, that is when I know I am ready.

I know age is catching up and I know that I might end up alone but then I always think I am not really alone when I have my siblings, my nephew, my niece...well my family and also my friends with me. I might grow old alone and I might not but lets keep praying that time that all been waiting for will eventually come. If it don't, then it don't. If it does, I know I have everyone blessing.

Maybe love will come knocking when we stop looking. Who knows? :)