I am Free

I'm all alone here in this office. Not that I'm working but mostly lazying and thinking. I have quit my job of 4 years due to the pressure that I have all this while kept it very very well. Well, I guess there is always limit to the patience in anyone's have.

I know very well that I have a very high patience level. That, I'm very sure. But it had me thinking one thing. This decision that I took have stop my source of income. I have to be very careful with my expenses and sadly I have to stop myself from buying anything that I want even if it is on sale. Duh! Knowing me...a shopaholic (that is what my friends call me) can actually prevent myself from spending is new achievement. Well at least for me, my own life.

I'm not born with gold spoon in my mouth but at I work to have what I want and I'm proud with myself. Yes, sometimes I ask myself...is my decision to leave the company is the right deecision? Well, although the world economy is at the worst time and although I have to limit myself from spending, but until now I still think this is the right choice I'm taking.

I am not running from problem but I am avoiding to have additional problem in my life. Yes, I am thankful for the boss, for the friends I made but I am most thankful now is that I can think and do whatever I love to do without feeling worried or being control.

Guess, I am born to be free....

Wedding Daze III

Well, merisik dah selamat dah on 17/1/09. Though a lot has not been finalised but at least we have met the family. What more? We have quite a few happy news...

* Solemnisation will be done in Malacca. Yes, who would've thought my mom change her mind. This is all because of nenek. Persuading her non stop. Kudos to nenek. So, yes...solemnisation will be in my mom house on 30th May 09
* Wedding ceremony will be done in Tun Rahah (initial plan) on 5th June 09
* There might be another ceremony in our Negeri Sembilan hometown. (Only a plan, not confirm yet)
* As for groom, ceremony will be done in Anjung Felda one week after our kenduri.

Well, for now I will be busy settling all the bits and pieces that need to be settle. Need to check flight tickets to Jakarta soon...

N.B. Don't worry, Mak Itam we will post the card here. Btw, will you all be attending? Or still there? Kem salam balik kat Pak Itam, k...

Kak Tura...You'll be missed

Remember I did write about my cousin who suffered cancer stage 4? Well, at 4.15am Sunday Jan 11, 2009 she lost her fight. Kak Tura has met with her creator that day, al fatihah.

She has fight well and our pray is with her all the way.

Kak Tura, you will be missed.

Wedding Daze II

I have not posted my new year blogs and believe me, I have lot of things to talk about for my new year postings. But my heart been calling me to write about this first. I have been mentioning and publishing about my excitement of my sister wedding to the whole world. Well at least to the messenger, friendster, facebook and blogging community which I think nearly whole world populations. :)

We are indeed very excited. My little sister...my cute small little sister that
I used to pick a fight with, that I can't be near with (well for at least 17 years of my life). Thanks to the grown up brain and the difficult life we had, my sister now is the closest sister, friend and companion I ever had. We shared everything (yes, everything) together. I must admit that sometimes her "blizzard" mood sometimes makes me wanted to kill her...

I'll be lying if I said I was OK with the thought of letting her go to life her own life. I'll be lying if I said I am OK now. I am actually not but I'm trying to accept things the way they suppose to be. I know I'll lost somebody, there will be nobody to accompany me at home, to pick a fight with, to tease with. I know I will somehow miss her voices and shout whenever she is bored or whenever she is trying to make a god damn awful singing voice and most importantly cruising together with her or even spend our holiday together. I will also be lying if I said I did not shed a single tears while I'm writing this.

But, of all the things, of all the pain of letting go... I believe I am letting her go to someone worth, I know he could take care of her the best and I know he is the right one for her. And I believe she find happiness with him but I want her to know that I will always be there. I will always be her wings that will protect her from any harm and I will always be her best sister for now and always will be...

In my previous post, I have mentioned about the hard headed mom we had. Well, as what we have expected after all the persuasion...she still with her decision, she will not give a damn about this wedding. I sometimes wonder, what kind of mom Ihad? I know I'm not suppose to have this thought. I'm soory. Well I actually love my mom even how bad things are but to do this? I know she is after one thing, for sure but I will not reveal what it is.

For god sake, I really hope she change for the best or she could end up being a misery old lady where nobody will appreciate like someone I know. Guess, it runs in her blood. I am so pissed right now, though I know I'm not suppose to. But, I need someone to put some sense in her brain for once!

Oh, god...please forgive me...

Friday is quiet...

Today is Friday, December 26th 2008. For those celebrated Christmas yesterday, hope you enjoy every moment of this season of giving.

I must say, even though I am not celebrating Christmas, watching the movies during Christmas day I have been influence on the existence of santa. Wonder where I'll be put in this year, naughty or nice list?

Isn't it nice to have a santa that can give you everything you dream of? Be it a barbie or a huuuuuugeee teddy bear that you could not even hug. But of course, there is no santa and there is no man entering your house through the chimney except if you have a chimney that can fit a man you might woke up with a burglar inside your house.

I wish life is as simple as that. I wish life is just beautiful wheneve we wake up in the morning. I wish life is easy peasy. But no, life is not beautiful and we could not expect we woke up every morning with fresh breath, beautiful smile and without hangover from last night drinking.

Life is full of lies, jealousy, manipulation and selfishness. We must admit even the nicest ol' goody two shoes have this bad attitude stashed in their heart. I admit, I do have this and I believe everbody has. It only a matter whether you want to show it or not.

I wanted to leave 2008 by remembering all the sweet little things that happen and I wanted to throw every single bitterness behind. I know, it is impossible to forget but at least I want to store it somewhere and hoping I could forget about it forever.

I will post a blog about new year but not in this blog. This blogs was written out of boredom and sleepless night I have for the past few days. Am I imsomniac?